Tag Archives: pediatric counseling

Chill-dren: Calming Strategies For Your Child At Home

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Picture this: You’ve had a long day at work, reprimanded by your boss and had a disagreement with that one co-worker who always gets under your skin. All you can think of is how much you want to get home! You already have in mind exactly what will help you let the stress of the day go.

Children and Stress

Although our children do not have bosses or coworkers, they do experience daily stress and share your feelings of wanting time to relax. The only thing is, they often do not know exactly what will help them de-stress and calm down in the moment. You can help your child by having a conversation about quiet activities they enjoy and items or experiences that make them feel better when they are upset. Discussing and practicing their calming strategies while they are feeling happy and relaxed will be important so your child knows how to use them during frustrating moments. Below are ideas to get you and your child started with their own relaxation routine.

Calming Ideas for Children

  1. Calm Down Corner
  • Different from a time-out spot, the calm down corner is a place your child can go when they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed. It can be any spot around the house that they always have access to and can leave set up. Encourage your child to put blankets, pillows, and anything comfortable to cuddle with. Let them know that this is their special spot they can come to whenever they need a break.
  1. Deep Breaths
  • Deep breaths are a great tool for calming because once your child masters them at home, they can use them anywhere! Together with your child, practice taking three to five slow, controlled breaths. You can prompt your child to pretend their body is balloon and to watch their midsection fill up while they inhale, and see it deflate while they exhale. Modeling with your own body is a great way to show them exactly how their air should move and sound when they breathe.
  1. Yoga
  1. Calm down kit
  • The calm down kit is a bucket or bin full of items and pictures that is easily accessible to your child when they are feeling upset. It might include crayons and paper, something to squeeze, play-doh, snacks, bubbles, stickers, a book, and/or a feelings chart. You can also fill it with pictures of any of the ideas above!

What else can I do?

If your child is demonstrating continued difficulty calming themselves at home, consider contacting our office, as our social workers can provide your family with helpful tools and supports to help your child move from angry, sad, and/or scared back to the loving, happy child you know them to be.

Questions or concerns?

If you have questions or concerns about your child please contact us at info@playworkschicago.com or 773-332-9439.

Amanda Deligiannis, MSW, LSW
Licensed Social Worker
Photo Credit: Photo by Anissa Thompson from FreeImages

Teaching Mindfulness to Kids

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As an increasing number of adults explore the practice and benefits of mindfulness, you may begin to wonder if this technique can benefit kids as well.

The simple answer?

ABSOLUTELY!

But how do we teach our kids to practice mindfulness in a way that is both age-appropriate and effective? Let’s start by reviewing what mindfulness is, and then take a look at some tips for teaching mindfulness to kids.

Mindfulness: What is it and why is it helpful?

Mindfulness is most often defined as one’s personal awareness of present feelings, thoughts, experiences, and environment. It is a mental state in which a person becomes purposefully conscious of what is happening both inside and outside of his/her body at any given moment. This state of awareness involves acceptance and is free from judgment. Mindfulness is the practice of recognizing what is happening right now, without labeling thoughts as “right” or “wrong” and without trying to change anything. Numerous studies find the benefits of mindfulness to include a decrease in stress, depression, and anxiety as well as an increase in focus, attention, and self-regulation. Performing a mindfulness exercise will not only bring about a sense of calm in one specific moment but will also better prepare your body and mind to react more calmly in future moments of stress. With regular practice, mindfulness can eventually lead to improved coping skills and an overall increased sense of daily contentment.

Tips for teaching mindfulness to kids

  1. Model mindfulness
    • As a parent, you are your child’s best teacher! By committing to the practice of mindfulness yourself, you will not only help your child to learn these new skills, you will also begin to feel the benefits within your own life.
  2. Practice mindful breathing
    • One of the best ways to begin exploring mindfulness (for adults and children) is to practice mindful breathing. Find a quiet space to sit with your child and take a few moments to just pay attention to your breath. Set an expectation that together you will take five big breaths and you will both try very hard to pay attention only to those breaths. Help bring your child’s awareness to his/her breathing with questions such as: Where can you feel it? Does it make any sound? What parts of your body move when you breathe?
  3. Take a mindful walk
    • Just as with the breathing exercise, it will be helpful to set expectations before taking part in this practice. Tell your child you will take a walk together and during this walk you are going to pay close attention to what you see, what you hear, and what you feel. You can even turn this into a game to make it more fun: “Let’s see how many birds we hear while we are walking today!”To help your child focus during this practice, talk as you walk: “What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel?”It is also helpful to draw your child’s attention specifically to things you notice. “I hear a dog barking. I feel the wind blowing on my arms. I see three ants walking on the sidewalk.” As you walk, try not to linger too much on any particular feeling or sensation. Identify what you notice, pause, and then move on.
  4. Stay simple
    • Be sure to practice mindfulness at a level appropriate for your individual child. Young children will benefit from language that is more familiar than “mindful” or “conscious.” Instead you can use words such as “listen,” “look,” or “notice.” The focus of this practice is not on the specific language used but on the awareness in a particular moment. Start with simple words and as your child grows (in both age and mindfulness knowledge) you can start to add in more complex language.
  5. Make mindfulness part of your routine
    • Set aside a set amount of time each day to practice mindfulness with your child. You can start by setting the goal to practice mindfulness for 5 minutes each day—adding this time before or after something that is already part of your daily routine. Perhaps mindfulness can become part of your bedtime routine, or maybe it is something you can try every day before dinner. Remember: mindfulness is not just a tool to be used in times of stress. It is most beneficial when incorporated regularly throughout your family’s daily routine. Practice until it becomes habit!

More resources

Check out this website (Guided Meditation for Children) for some freeguided meditations for children and more information on mindfulness!

Questions or concerns?

If you have questions or concerns about your mindfulness or your child’s development, please contact us at info@playworkschicago.com or 773-332-9439.

Stephanie Wroblewski, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Reference: Wedge, M. (2018, September 18). 7 Ways Mindfulness can Help Children’s Brains. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/

Photo Credit: khamkhor via pixabay.com

Let’s Talk About Feelings!

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As children grow and learn to navigate their worlds, their experiences will be coupled with a variety of feelings. When children are unable to express themselves, it may result in increased frustration and aggressive behaviors. Talking about feelings can be difficult for children, as for many adults, and it is our jobs as caregivers to help facilitate children’s process of expression.

Which feelings should I focus on with my child?

For either younger children who do not have the language to label their feelings or older children who do not understand their feelings, it is helpful to focus on the common emotions of happy, sad, mad, and scared. These four feelings are considered to be baseline and can be used in helping your child better describe and understand their specific experiences.

How can I practice these with my child?

In order to increase your child’s understanding of these feelings, it would be beneficial to create a feelings chart. This can be a fun art project that you do with your child! First, take pictures of your child making a happy, sad, mad, and scared face. If your child is having trouble making these faces, bring out a mirror and practice doing them together. Then, put the four pictures onto a paper and label the feelings underneath each picture. Keep the chart in sight throughout the day, such as posting it on the refrigerator or cabinet. Practice using the chart by asking your child how he/she feels throughout the day. If your child is unable to voice the feeling, have him/her point to the picture. It is important that caregivers acknowledge and praise the child for his/her efforts, such as responding, “You are telling me that you are mad. Thank you for telling me.” Caregivers are also encouraged to remind the child that feeling sad, mad, and scared is not wrong so your child feels comfortable continuing to accurately express himself/herself. With continued practice with the chart, your child will begin to move towards increased self-expression.

Can this be helpful at school too?

This feeling chart can be used in any setting! It is recommended that the child use this chart in the environment that poses the most difficulties. For example, if your child is having difficulties with feeling expression while interacting with his/her classroom peers, the teacher can use the chart to help your child better communicate (via words or pointing) feelings. Increased expression of emotions can also result in more appropriate social behaviors, as your child will have more confidence using his/her words.

Questions or concerns?

If you have questions or concerns about your child’s emotional recognition and identification, please contact us at info@playworkschicago.com or 773-332-9439. Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Brittany Hill, MS, MSW, LCSW, DT
Developmental Therapist
Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Photo Credit: https://kids.lovetoknow.com/feelings-chart-children

Social Work: Destigmatized and Unfiltered

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When you first hear that a social worker is going to be making weekly home visits, what is the first thing that comes to mind? DCFS? Domestic violence? Child abuse? There are many misconceptions about what social work actuallyisand what social workers actually do.This blog will help provide some information to understand the differences between what social work is and how it can help.

What is social work?

The term social work can be a very broad and general term, so what do social worker’s actually do? They help people in need. Social workers work in a variety of settings including hospitals, nursing homes, and schools. As a pediatric therapist, sessions can occur in any and all types of environments that are best suited to address your child’s goals of the session.

Early Intervention:

Most Early Intervention social work sessions occur in the home and a social worker will work collaboratively with the family to target specific goals for the sessions. A social worker can facilitate and locate resources as needed within the community, such as food pantries and daycares. Sessions can focus on specific challenging behaviors/daily routines that your child may be struggling with. A social worker will provide parent education and implement strategies when working with challenging behaviors. Counseling services are frequently provided to all families and referrals are made as needed.

Private Therapy:

Social workers directly work with your child and family to focus on any area that your child is experiencing difficulty with i.e., difficulty in school, aggressive behaviors, emotional regulation, and mental health concerns. Social workers also provide counseling services to address topics of grief and loss, difficulty with family transitions, and facing peer pressure. Families are active participants in the child’s therapy through interventions and strategies that are learned and implemented at home.

How can social work help my child?

Social work services help children and families by providing education and interventions specific to each family. Working with a social worker can help create essential age-appropriate disciplinary techniques and establish boundaries within the home. Increasing your child’s social-emotional and regulation skills will help children communicate and become cognizant of their thoughts, feelings, and actions. Counseling services create a safe environment for your child to express their feelings while understanding how to self-regulate through everyday stressors.

Questions or concerns?

If you have questions or concerns about your child’s social emotional development, please contact us at info@playworkschicago.com or 773-332-9439.

Kelly Scafidi, MSW, LCSW, DT
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Developmental Therapist

Photo Credit:Andrew Branch via StockSnap.io

Do you have a picky eater on your hands?

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Mealtimes can be stressful for parents when children refuse to eat the food on their plate. It is common for parents to worry about their children not eating, which often means parents will try to accommodate the children by making more than one meal. Children grow up and learn how to exercise their power by making their own decisions. With this easy-to-follow food chart, children will not only be able to choose their meals but will lend for a more consistent schedule for the entire family.

Weekly Meal Chart:

Start by creating a weekly chart including each day of the week. Begin by picking one meal to chart, which can include the most difficult meal for the child. Parents can then print off a number of foods, with the pictures, that the child enjoys. For example, if the family chooses breakfast, the parents can print out pictures of foods that the child usually eats, including oatmeal, cereal, fruit, etc. At the beginning of each week, help the child pick out which food to put on each day. This action will give the child the power of choosing the food and give the parents a visual reminder of what food will be eaten on each day.

Once the chart is filled out, put in on the refrigerator as a visual reminder for the entire family. Parents should make sure to stay consistent with the chart and only offer the food listed for the day. If the child refuses to eat the meal presented, put the food aside and allow the child to take a break. The child may become upset and need some time to calm down with some toys. Once calm, parents can remind the child that he/she can eat the food when ready. Usually, children will give in to the food after they see that the parents are only offering the one meal without other choices. It may be difficult for parents and child to adjust to the chart in the beginning, as the child is used to getting more options, but the more the parents stay consistent with the system, the faster the child will learn the routine.

Brittany Hill, MS, MSW, LSW, DT

“I don’t like it when they yell at me”: Deescalation and the Calm Response

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“I don’t like it when they yell at me.”

I often hear this phrase when working with children. Imagine you have driven into a busy intersection before your turn and another driver starts yelling and honking loudly. It would be easy to become defensive and ready to argue with the other driver. This could also be a natural response for a resistant child who is yelled at by mom or dad. Yelling seems to be an easy fix to an immediate problem when we feel tired or overwhelmed, but it will often make your child more upset.

It has been said that a gentle answer will deescalate anger. Often, an angry person can be calmed down by a simple, quiet, and empathetic response. He or she will be more likely to communicate and resolve the issue that is causing them to feel angry or frustrated. When your child is upset, don’t match their level of emotion. Try to remain calm and clear headed. Use quiet, kind words to help them relax to a point where they are able to express their thoughts and feelings. Your child will feel respected and understood, even if they cannot have their way.

As always, consistency is the key to any discipline process. It is important to set boundaries with your child and this may take time as you develop a habit of calm communication. If your child has become accustomed to yelling, he or she may no longer respond to it. Don’t give in to harsher words or a higher volume. With patient work and loving communication, you and your child can enjoy living in a yell-free home!

If you have questions related to determining strategies for responding to behavioral challenges, please contact one of our pediatric social workers.

Laura Mauriello, MS, LCSW, DT