Ouch! My Child is Biting!

It is never a fun moment when your child’s teacher calls, informing you that your child bit a classmate. Or what about when your child bites you or their siblings? Biting is a stressful experience for everyone involved. Let’s discuss why it may happen and what can be done to prevent it.

Is biting normal?

While not every child will bite, it is a very common behavior in toddlers. Biting usually stops by three or three-and-a-half. However, just because it is a normal stage of development does not mean it is an acceptable behavior. In order to try to prevent age-appropriate biting, we first need to try to understand what may trigger it.

Why is my child biting?

Toddlers are experiencing so many new feelings, both physically and emotionally, during this time in their development. These changes could lead to feeling the need to bite. Understanding why your child may be biting may help you support them from biting.

  • Teething – This can be a painful process, especially getting those two-year-old molars, and sometimes clenching their teeth on something (or someone) helps relieve the tension they are feeling in their mouths.
  • Sensory needs – Our bodies seek out what it needs in many different ways. Some children’s mouths need more stimulation to feel “awake” or regulated. Their bodies may also need more large muscle activities, such as running, climbing, and jumping to release that tension and energy they are releasing with their jaws.
  • Big emotions – Have you ever been so excited or angry that your clench your jaw or fists? Luckily you have the inhibition skills to avoid biting those around you in those moments. Toddlers are learning about a lot of new feelings and how they make their body feel. Sharing, tiredness, fear, and overstimulation are really tough to navigate when you’re just learning and can be overwhelming. Toddlers are also learning to be more independent from their caregivers and recognizing that things they want may not be what the people around them want for them. That causes frustration that may lead to biting too.
  • Few words – Toddlers are also learning language skills. Often times their communication skills are not developing as fast as the large emotions mentioned earlier. Biting can be an effective way to get a point across when they do not have the words to do so. You may see more biting in children who have a language delay.

What can I do?

  • Do some detective work – Are there any patterns to your child’s behavior? Do they tend to bite before lunch/nap time? Is it when other children encroach on their personal space? Have there been recent changes to their regular routine or family dynamics? By noting when biting happens most often, it may prompt you to give extra support during those times, such as offering a snack, making naptime a little earlier in the day, or having two of the same item to assist with sharing.
  • Offer an alternative – If your child is biting due to teething or sensory input, redirect them to a chewy tube or teething ring. Sometimes a wet washcloth kept in the refrigerator or freezer offers a soothing sensation to chew on for sensitive gums.
  • Model appropriate language – As mentioned before, sometimes biting gets a message across faster than words can come out. Help teach your child the power of words by modeling language they can use. For example, “I need space!” “Move, please” “My turn!” Encourage them to ask for help from an adult if their words are not enough with their peers.
  • Read books – There are many children’s book about biting, such as Teeth are not for Bitingby Elizabeth Verdick. Reading together can provide the opportunity to talk through situations without the intense emotions of the moment.
  • Reinforce expectations – Remind your child that, no, biting is not allowed. Be firm, but try to not to express anger. You want your child to know that you do not approve of the behavior, but that you still love them. Remember to replace the unwanted behavior with the preferred behavior. Example: “Ouch! It is not okay to bite. Biting hurts. You can bite this teether instead, but you may not bite your friends.”
  • Wash, rinse, repeat – Children learn through repetition. They may not remember to stop biting after the first time you redirect them. Or the fifth. Like learning any new skill, it takes time, practice, and patience. Remember that children’s inhibition skills are still developing until age four, even if they know what they are doing is wrong. And to be honest, some of us adults are still mastering avoiding the things we know are not good for us!

Questions or concerns?

If you have questions or concerns about your child’s biting, please contact us at info@playworkschicago.com or 773-332-9439.

Becky Clark, MS, DT
Developmental Therapist

Reference:Zero to Three. (2016, February 22). Toddlers and biting: finding the right response. Retrieved April 8, 2019, from https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/232-toddlers-and-biting-finding-the-right-response.

Lieberman, A. F. (1995). The emotional life of the toddler. New York: Free Press.

Photo Credit: PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Increasing Participation in Daily Routines

Establishing routines in your child’s life are crucial in that they help to create expectations and predictability. However, certain routines can often be difficult to follow when considering a parent’s work schedule and child’s behavior at particular times of the day. Children often feel as though they experience a loss of control when being asked to constantly “do this and that.” Parents-don’t panic! Try implementing these small tricks at home and school, which have been shown to increase your child’s participation and motivation to engage in routines!

How can routines help my child?

Routines are created to help your child understand what he/she should be expected to do throughout the day. Routines are important in a variety of settings, including the home and school. It is the parents’ and teachers’ duties to enforce these routines on a daily basis, which can include specific activities as well as consistent responses that reinforce participation. For example, if a child is expected to sit for circle time and he/she is having difficulties, it is crucial that the teacher responds in a consistent way in order for the child to understand that circle time is the next step and the child is expected to participate.

What if my child has difficulties following routines?

If your child is having difficulties following specific routines at home or school, creating a visual schedule of the specific steps in that routine can help to increase your child’s motivation and control of the situation. For example, if your child demonstrates resistance towards the morning routine, follow these simple steps to create a visual schedule:

  1. Take pictures of your child engaging in each step of the routine (e.g. waking up, getting dressed, eating breakfast, etc.)
  2. Place the pictures vertically on paper, numbering each step to help the child understand what needs to be done first/last.
  3. Allow the child to mark each step once completed. Ask your child how he/she wants to mark the steps (e.g. putting a sticker next to the completed step). Laminating the schedule is a fun way in which your child can “X” off the steps and then erase for the next day.
  4. Use this schedule every day for at least two weeks, which will allow for sufficient time to understand whether it is making an impact or not. It is important that all caregivers use the chart with your child in order to build consistency. 

How do these visual schedules actually help?

Visual schedules serve many purposes for children and caregivers. First, the pictures on the schedules allow children to see themselves in action, which adds an extra fun factor. Secondly, the schedule allows children to have increased control, in that they are able to mark off each completed step. Lastly, the schedule serves as reminders to the caregivers as to what the child has done and what he/she needs to further complete. It is also helpful for caregivers to add in an incentive if the child is able to complete all steps included in a routine (e.g. giving your child extra play time before leaving for school).

Questions or concerns?

If you have questions or concerns about your child’s routines, please contact us at info@playworkschicago.com or 773-332-9439.

Brittany Hill, MS, MSW, LCSW, DT
Assistant Director of Social Work Services
Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Photo Credit: Openclipart-Vectors via Pixabay

Challenging Behaviors: Considering the What and Why

Throughout children’s lives, there may be periods of time where their behaviors seem to be challenging and difficult to manage. When looking at these behaviors, it is important to consider what purpose the behavior is serving and why the behavior is happening. While is it typical for young children to have tantrums and use occasional aggression, it becomes challenging when these behaviors are continued repeated patterns that:

  • Interfere with a child’s learning, development, and success
  • Interfere with a child’s ability to engage in positive interactions with peers and adults
  • Is harmful to the child, peers, or adults
  • Is overall challenging to manage

Examples of common challenging behaviors that are reported in young children include aggression (biting, hitting, pushing). In looking at these behaviors, it is important for caregivers to first look at the purposes of these behaviors. Is the child engaging in these behaviors to get a reaction (behavioral response) or are they trying to seek input to their bodies (sensory response)? Below are examples of the behaviors seen through both behavioral and sensory lenses:

After caregivers figure out the purposes of the behaviors, it is important to match the consequences accordingly. For example, if the concerns have a behavior response, the consequence should be behavior based. If the concerns have a sensory response, the consequence should be sensory based. Below are examples of consequences from each perspective.

It is important for the child’s caregivers (e.g. parents, teachers, nanny, etc.) to be on the same page when it comes to giving consequences. When children receive constant responses from all caregivers, the higher the changes are of the challenging behaviors decreasing.

Brittany Hill, MS, MSW, LCSW, DT
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Developmental Therapist

Are Time-Outs Not Working to Help Manage Your Child’s Behavior?

Is your child demonstrating unacceptable behaviors but time-outs don’t seem to be affective? Time-outs are part of a negative reinforcement system, which works for some children and not for others. If you are looking for another system to modify your child’s behavior, try this Puff Ball Reward System. This positive reinforcement behavior system is aimed to motivate and encourage a child, usually over four years old, to demonstrate increased appropriate behaviors and decreased negative behaviors.

Using the system:
1. Use a jar or container large enough to hold up to 30 puff balls. Begin by putting a line of tape around the jar at a point that would take 15 puff balls to reach the line.
2. Make a list of rewards that your child can work towards. Examples of rewards can include extra screen time, extra book at bedtime, one-on-one lunch date, or baking special treats. Have your child choose a reward before starting the system so he/she understands what the end goal will be.
3. Reward your child intermittently when you notice he/she is using desired appropriate behavior.  Intermittent rewards encourage behavior modification at a much faster rate than rewards given at expected times. It is important that your child earns a reward within the first three days of beginning the system (e.g. he/she will earn five puff balls during the first three days). This system is designed to experience success at a quick rate in the beginning, which will encourage your child to try his/her best so that he/she can always potentially earn a puff ball.
4. Once your child has reached the line, the reward will be earned. Each time your child reaches the line, you will move the line of tape higher on the jar so that he/she has to earn more puff balls in order to earn the next reward.

Handling misbehaviors while using this system:
There are two options to handling misbehavior with the positive reinforcement system:
1. Ignore the misbehavior-do not give attention beyond initial recognition of the behavior, assuming your child is in a safe place. You can say, “(child’s name), we do not hit.”
2. Natural consequence-give a consequence depending on the situation. For example, if you are playing a game and your child begins to yell, hit, or throw then you put the game away.
* The key is to be consistent with whichever option you choose so that your child learns that the same response will always occur.

Brittany Hill, MS, MSW, LSW, DT
Licensed Social Worker
Developmental Therapist